No one tells you that, when you start ‘doing the work’.
Like seriously.. it’s sold as some some internal glow up.
This aesthetic enlightenment where everything suddenly feels lighter and more magical.
Align your life they said.. it’ll be wonderful they said.
But, once you’ve become emotionally aware and once you’ve actually woken up to all your shit.. you don’t get to unknow it.
There is no going back.
You don’t get to be unconscious, naïve or oblivious ever again.
And that, my friend.. is exhausting.
You’re on that train now and it doesn’t fucking stop.
Emotional intelligence doesn’t make your life easier, it makes it clearer
And clarity is heavy.
Because you have nothing to hide behind.
You no longer get to make senseless choices and act like they don’t matter.
Everything matters.
And you don’t just notice how you work.. you notice everything.
You’ll become a fully qualified energy reader and you’ll see patterns, dynamics, ego and wounds in everyone around you.
You’ll walk into rooms and sense the energy before anyone speaks and you’ll read people faster than they understand themselves.
*At this point, you’ll probably wish you could go back to your old, ignorant self.
Because honestly, it makes you dislike a hell of a lot of people.
So, your world get’s smaller
And now you have to learn to create a new world, one that actually fits this level of awareness.
Because all of a sudden, you don’t fit where you used to fit.
Things that didn’t bother you before, now disrupt your entire soul.
Circles you’ve been in your entire life, now feel like nervous system hell.
So you rebuild everything.. internally and externally at the same time.
And just when you think you’ve done the work and healed the thing.. life will throw you something else and suddenly, you’re straight back in.
Why did I respond like this?
What’s this triggering?
What do I need to heal now?
Another internal audit.
It. Never. Ends.
Situations don’t get to be situations anymore.
People don’t just get to be arseholes.
Everything and I mean, everything becomes a lesson.
A mirror.
Something for you to analyse, reframe and heal.
It’s like your working your way through a box of chocolates and every so often you get the coffee and you’re like ughhh, not again.
For the most part it’s lovely.
You’ll be thankful and pleased you’re indulging but you just know that coffee’s coming.
And it’s always you that’s doing the work
To cope with everyone around you.
Because they don’t see it.. they’re lucky blissfully unaware.
So you end up doing your work, their work and at some point you’re like fucking hell, when does this end?
Because your brain is now wired to search for meaning in everything.
I’ll be honest.. the work never truly ends.
You don’t get to graduate from self awareness school with a fancy scroll and call it a day.
But eventually, you’ll realise that not everything needs healing.
Not everything is your job.
And sometimes, people are in fact.. just arseholes.
You’ll understand that some things get to just be, without you picking them apart.
Which is why community matters so much
Because not many people actually live here.
Not many people get it.
And when you are doing this work, you need people who speak the same language.
You need people who understand the exhaustion behind it.. because this shit is heavy.
So if you’re emotionally intelligent and exhausted.
And you’re in the process of rebuilding yourself from the inside out.
I see you.
Welcome to the club x
