Why are people with less so much happier?
Have you ever noticed how the people who do less and have less than you, seem way happier?
It’s something that genuinely lives rent free in my head.
They don’t have these huge goals, five year plans or colour coded to do lists and they’re not constantly trying to improve their lives.
They have now and somehow that’s enough.
Whilst we’re planning to live - living in the future, chasing the next thing, analysing, overthinking and pre-empting.. they’re just here.
Observing their life, instead of managing it.
There has to be something to this right?
I mean, we’re taught the opposite.
That a day isn’t a day unless you’ve done something productive. Even when you’re on your arse, you’re expected to productively climb your way out of it.
Rest is something you earn after exhaustion.. something you have to take when you have no other choice.
Our worth comes from effort, output, achievement.. not just being.
Even slowing down becomes an actual task.
Another note on our ‘to do’.. next Saturday I’ll have some rest.
How fucked up is that?
And those people, who actually seem content.. they’re not having to work to feel calm.
They just are.
They understand that calm is actually felt, as a natural state if you take all the other shit away.
One thing I know for sure - I’ve never been fully in the moment and stressed at the same time.
I’ve been in stressful situations before of course but but it is more the anticipation of stress that gets you.
Because most of our stress doesn’t live in the present. It lives in the past or the future and it is our rerunning or rehearsing of it that takes us there.
Going through old conversations, old stories asking ourselves whyyy, when, how. And preparing for outcomes that let’s be honest, will likely never happen.
A lot of our pain, unfortunately.. is imagined.
You know if you were to sit in silence for a moment, you’d notice just how relentless your mind is.
It literally never shuts the fuck up.
Even right now, reading this.. I’m sure you’ve drifted and are picking your own scenarios, agreeing with me or not, telling yourself what else you have to do right now.
Because we’re taught to be that way. We’ve learned to scan for every possible scenario, to anticipate the next thing.
Productivity has become a badge of honour and exhaustion is normalised as a sign of a full life but surely a full life shouldn’t feel this empty?
This tiring.
And this is why doing less matters.
Because you have to fight against the desire your mind has to always be on.
To train yourself to stay in the moment and be present.
I feel at my most full when my days are simple. When things arent rushed, when I’m not performing, fixing, striving or trying to prove anything.
When I’m simply existing.
And now, whenever I feel overwhelmed or drained, the first thing I’ll ask myself is where am I doing too much?
Because stress for me, has always been linked to doing and I refuse to accept exhaustion as a sign of success.
Slowing down is not laziness, it’s fucking regulation.
And without a regulated body, you cannot do shit.
It’s about coming back to your actual life, not the one you’re planning, not the one you’re worried about.
But your reality as it is, right now.
The goal isn’t to do more, be better or finally get on top of everything.
It’s about noticing when you’ve left the present moment and coming back to it.
Because the people who look the most alive aren’t fucking chasing it.
They’re allowing it to happen.
Without being so attached to the outcome.
And genuinely, that just might be the most productive thing you will ever learn to do.
You know how I bring myself back there, every morning, before my mind has a chance to run away with me?
I ask myself one simple question.
Before the lists, before the noise, before I start being useful to everyone else.
What do I need today?
Not what needs doing.
Not what I should be on top of.
Not who needs me first.
What I need.
Me this human, who is also important.
And whatever that answer is becomes my non negotiable and my meaning for the day.
It’s not big or impressive but it’s enough.
And it’s actually doable.
Sometimes it’s peace.
Sometimes exercise.
Sometimes connection.
And sometimes it’s doing absolutely fuck all but breathing for a couple of minutes or washing my hair.
But this is my way of forcing presence before life tries to tell me, it’s not ok.
And once I’ve completed it, I’m telling you.. everything feels lighter. I’m actually able to get through the numerous tasks of the day because I have the mental capacity to do it.
You don’t need to win the day or conquer every single thing on your list.
You just need to be here for it.
And that, is more than enough.
That is a successful life.
